I think I have ruined everything. It hurts so much I can't breathe. I feel sick and I can't stop crying. I've done so many stupid things in the past few months that I may have destroyed my relationship permanently.
I have never been so devastated, I really didn't know how I could survive that kind of pain, and I felt like I was dying inside.
I was the toxic one in my relationship, and ruined everything
That was 10 months ago. After 6 weeks apart, during which I suffered complete agony, some things went wrong in his life, his car broke down and he couldn't get it fixed so had no way to work and no money to do it with.
He called me to help him and I was really upset, because my mom was dying and he hadn't been calling to check on me or her. He only called when he needed help. I was so incredibly heartbroken.
I had been crying every day for the past sixi weeks, and I was also angry and wasn't sure I wanted to help him but I did and he wrote me a letter telling me how very sorry he was, how wrong he had been, how much he loved me and would do anything to make it all up to me.
We got back together, but I had huge problems with trusting him after that, or believing he really loved me. I was afraid he was back with me because he couldn't make it on his own financially and that if he had money in the bank he wouldn't have ever wanted me back in his life. Despite what he said about changing everything, he still didn't contribute anything toward rent and spent all of his paychecks on things for himself and his car.
Then he began to get some texts from a girl he worked with, one he told me had a crush on him. He never bought anything for me, and I mean even little things like a cup of coffee or fast food when he bought some for himself but he was buying books on how to meet people, how to get anyone to like you within 5 minutes etc. This really bothered me because while we were broken up he bought books on how to be a pick-up artist and how to seduce women even if they were married etc.
We went to a music festival and I got upset and insecure because he barely looked at me while we there and I felt like he was looking at every other woman we passed by. I said something to him about how it didn't feel very nice when he did that and he got enraged at me.
He didn't want to talk to me on the ride home, barely is speaking to me now, and I know that one of his coworkers who he spends a lot of time with has been suggesting he could fix my boyfriend up with other women. My boyfriend stayed late to work, has been getting phone calls from weird numbers and isn't answering my texts like he used to. I agree with what guy had replied on the old thread that Things started to gone bad from when he wanted to be "out from the relationship".
So stop making yourself guilty. It's like You are blaming yourself for not able to join the broken pieces of a mirror which was broken by him not a good metaphore may be but i guess you know what i meant.You have low self esteem due to all of the emotional and verbal abuse.
It was'nt right to cheat but it is what it is. You and your husband are in different places and can't seem to find that emotinal connection to make it work. Try having a civil conversation with him and figure what's best for both of you. If you can't find common ground then it would be best to move on and find happiness.
Life is too short to live in any emotional,abusive relationship. Love hurts and time will heal all wounds. First I agree with the guy above. Is he a role that played in you cheating yes. But emotions are high and you have to let a man notice his failures on his own. That's the tricky part. When he yells don't yell back. When fights do the fight back. Let him calm down then talk. Fight for you marriage not with each other.
Even if you dont feel like it try to be intimate with him as much as possible it brings couples together in a way that they have open conversation. Doll your self up it will bring your self as teem up. And if he calls you a name walk away. Come back later and assure him you are not. You are the mother of his kids and disease to be treated like it. If you cheat on him again then your the problem.
If you feel trap and think the only way out is to cheat stop your self and ask if it worth it.
I'll be checking in for updates.I try to live my life without regret, but this failure has been consuming me. They say most affairs, especially within marriages, happen at the workplace or with coworkers.
I now can attest to that. The thing is, my husband is in a career where he moves workplaces constantly, and I was always worried about the possibility of him cheating. I could say I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but at the end of the day it was still all my fault.
I have always been incredibly sensitive to guilt I was raised that way and this time was no different. He said a few other people from our department would be there, but I arrived at the bar to just him. I felt comfortable, just catching up and standard work gossip. Jake offered to take me back to his place instead of waiting. A taxi. My husband responded a lot more calmly than I thought he would, or than I would.
We are trying to work things out for the sake of our daughter, but I just feel so gut-wrenchingly horrible. This field can be seen by: Everyone Change.
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Welcome back! Sign into Fails Diary. Sign In Not a member? Sign Up Now! Fails Diary Sign into Fails Diary.Wednesday chat at 1. I am going through the most severe heartbreak of my life. My ex-boyfriend and I were together about a year and a half when he decided that he wanted to break up. I am responsible for the demise of our relationship. There was no cheating or lying involved.
At that time I was going through some major problems at work and was overly stressed, and I did not communicate how stressed I was. I guess I needed a punching bag, so I took it out on him. I started fights and put him down, saying that everything he was doing did not meet my standards. I stopped appreciating him and took him for granted and became needy.
Basically, I did everything that you are not supposed to do. I feel horrible and it tears my heart apart, the way I acted towards him.
A day does not pass by that I do not think of him and grieve our relationship. My behavior started only two months prior to breaking up.
We had an amazing relationship prior to that, as he would say, "I was the love of his life. I have apologized to him and received a kind email just stating that we have to move on. We have not communicated for about four months.
I am still in love with him; he was the ONE. I would love to have him back in my life but I do not know how that is possible. After the breakup, I never called him or begged him to take me back.
How do I go about trying to reach out to him again? I love him very much. I assume that when you apologized, you told him that you missed him. I also assume that at some point during the breakup, you tried to explain your behavior and promised to change your ways. If that's the case and you've already communicated that you want another chance, you have to accept that he's gone.
You don't have to beg. There is no "ONE. You claim that the relationship unraveled in just two months, but isn't it possible that there were problems before the end? You were unhappy.After a mountain of pressure from the people I loved, I finally mustered up the courage to call my ex.
My best friend was squeezing my hand so hard, I thought it would crack. I'm so proud of you. Now, your life can start! And I wasn't even alone with myself because I had lost myself. She stored my confidence somewhere far, far away, and I didn't know how to get to it. And I got it back. It was real work, but I got over the person who destroyed me from the inside out. I don't care how much money you have or you don't have, you need to get yourself in therapy right now. I used to think therapy was only for rich, neurotic, Manhattan natives, but trust me, that's not true!
I went years without a dentist, let alone a therapist. There are so many mental health resources out there that are either free or affordable. But, my sweet kitten, we need to get you into therapy so you can figure out why you let yourself fall in love with someone who treats you this way.
Because something drew you to this toxic relationship, and until you get to the root of it, you'll never break the cycle. You'll keep falling for energy vampires who suck the life right out of you. Do you have that one friend who always greets you with a bitchy comment that leaves you feeling like an insecure teenager?
Do you have that friend who only calls you to score drugs or to sit at your table when you have bottle service? I don't care if you've known these people since first grade.
I don't care if you share the same blood. Friends and family are in our lives to make us feel better, not worse! In this particularly vulnerable time, you can't risk letting negativity in. Surround yourself with the people who make you feel happy.
Maybe it's that one girl who sits next to at work. Now is a time to invest in positive energy. Close your eyes, and remember your life before this relationship.
You had hobbies before this person swooped in and sucked the air out of you. Whatever it is you liked to do, immerse yourself in it now! When you do something you love — something entirely independent of others — you will begin to feel human again. And that empowering feeling will propel you out of the dirty soil of heartbreak and bring you back to the LIGHT, girl.
Chances are, when you were with your shitty ex who destroyed your self-esteem, you stopped dressing like yourself, huh?
I ruined my marriage and broke my best friends heart!
Maybe you watered your style down to blend in with theirs. Well, I'm here to tell you that you are interesting and exotic, and you don't have to appease your shitty ex anymore.
Go blonde.I said yes, because I felt I had to. But I can't go through with it. Photo: iStock Source:Whimn. My boyfriend Michael and I were running late when we arrived at the cinema.
It was one of those little arthouse places that only seats about 50 people — miraculously, there were only two seats left but they were right in the centre — the best seats in the house. Michael and I had almost had a big fight before even getting to the cinema.
What I wanted was wine. What I got was a nightmare. Image: iStock. But Michael insisted. The lights were low when we walked in and I could hardly see, but we made our way to our seats as the ads were finishing. It was then that the whole circus began. The minute I saw his face up on the big screen, I knew what was happening, and I felt myself break into a cold sweat. If the film had been for someone else, I would have thought it was lovely, but I was irritated.
I could see Michael had gone to a lot of trouble, but I felt put on the spot. Michael had been holding my hand the entire time, and I could feel the sweat of my palms making the whole scene clammy and awkward. He squeezed my hand without looking at me and got up, walking to the stage in front of the screen.
Then the house lights came up and I suddenly saw the whole cinema was full of our family and friends. How had I not noticed before that I was sitting next to my own sister? I felt like I could hear my heart beating in my ears as Michael thanked everyone there for coming, and got down on one knee to ask me to marry him. And then I was under a literal spotlight, with everyone there silently smiling at me, expectant and thrilled.This guy is trouble.
I gather you are USA so judge judy is probably a good bet. He sounds like a real nice guy. Dump him if you haven't already A couple weeks ago my boyfriend and I got into a fight. He cut up my clothes and took off in my car.
He purposely crashed into a trashcan and as a result the drivers side door hardly opens and the outside mirror is missing. He told me if I didn't call the cops he'd buy me new clothes and fix the damages on my car. The day after he bought himself anew pair of shoes and a shirt. Which made me very upset because my clothes are ruined. So since then he hasn't done anything to make up for it just spend his money on weed.
This morning I was upset and wanted to talk so he got mad and called me a bitch and put my car into park while I was driving which probably messed up my transmission. He threatened if im not home after work he will come find me. What do I do? Im scared he knows where my mom and friends live.
Share Facebook. My boyfriend ruined my car and cut up my clothes can I get him in trouble? Add Opinion. FatherKnowsBest Xper 6. First, how can you classify such a person as a 'boyfriend'? Friends don't do destructive things to their mates. Secondly, yes you should file a police report.
Write everything down on paper to make sure you have the facts in order. Also get in contact with The Legal Aid Society.